Bun #3 In the Oven...

Most of you already have heard the news. We are expecting our third baby, due May 25th. Your first question, I am sure, is "was it a surprise?" Well, isn't every pregnancy really a surprise? I mean you know the chance is there that it could happen, but your stomach still drops in surprise when you see those 2 little pink lines on the pregnancy test. (Sorry for the crooked picture. I don't have the energy to re-do it...you're lucky I even took the time to scan it in at all.)

Some of you may know my absolulte and utter struggle with the idea of having another baby. You all know our story with Zachary, and to have to go through something like that again would be devastating. Plus, we had one of each - a girl and a boy. Everything was even in pairs, everyone has their own room, everyone fits in the car nicely, the kids are older now and things are just plain getting easier.

But, something inside me, kept pulling me back and forth. I would ask all my friends about how they felt about the 2 kids they had and if they wished for another one. I would ask all my friends about what it was like having 3 and how it changed things for them. In the end, everyone liked thier situation b/c in reality, they couldn't change it. If they had 3, they couldn't go back to 2. If they had 2, they justified that having 2 was perfect for whatever reason b/c in their mind they wanted that to be the right decision for them.

You may be wondering what Dan's position is on all of this? Well, he was certainly happy with our 2. He felt we could give them absolutely everything and just enjoy being with them. He works so many hours, that he felt as though he would not be able to be around much for another baby, and that bothered him. He is such a great father, and he could not bear the thought of missing out on a new baby. Plus, he was one of five kids, and felt as though they could not enjoy a lot of things b/c there was just so many of them. Two just made sense to him.

So, this summer, we decided to make a decision, and the decision was to be happy with what we had. Knowing we were going to be moving, I decided to get rid of all the baby clothes, blankets, bibs, paraphenalia, etc that I had stored in 25+ bins in our attic. I came across a woman who made blanket bundles for low income women who are working with a social worker to better thier situation. Being a social worker myself, I thought it was a worthy cause and prepared all my 0-6 month clothes for her to pick up. When she came, my heart absolutely sunk and I had to fight back the tears as all the clothes got loaded into her car. When she came back to return the bins, she shared with me that all my donations helped put her over the 500 bundle mark that she had given out. I found no comfort in her words and tried to just move on.

Then, we decided to just relinquish our own ideas and see what happened. And it happened. No special planning, no expectations, no worries.

So, here we are. Once I saw the positive test result, it produced another whole set of concerns. Mostly for what it meant for our new baby in regard to everything we went through with Zachary's heart surgery (if you are reading this and don't know that story - there's an old post about it).

I am being monitored extra by my doctor. I had my first ultrasound at 13 weeks last week. So far everything looks normal. Measurements normal, movement normal, organs normal, etc. The heart itself was too small to look at specifically yet. So, I go back in about a month and see a maternal fetal specialist where they will take a look at the heart and see if there is any issues. Then I will go for more ultrasounds and fetal echocardiograms, etc.

So, that's where we're at. I'm feeling much better than I did the first trimester. Very nauseas in afternoon/evening, a lot of dry heaving, you know, the fun stuff. Could be worse, I know. Alexa is ecstatic with the news. Zachary said he wants to hit the baby.

So, word is out. It's official. And for those of you attending Lisa's wedding that I am in on June 5th, about 10 days after I have the baby, save the comments. I will not be sure of my mood, body shape or size, emotions, or level of sleep.