Struggle

So many things I find myself struggling with, but this is one of them. I think since I became a stay at home mom almost 4 years ago, I finally was able to step away from the "world" and really have time to focus on who I am and what my purpose is. It is so easy when you are in the daily grind of working full time, having a family, etc. to lose that sense of purpose, and get so caught up in our daily activities, that before we know it, days, weeks, months, even years pass us by.

So, what am I here for? I have obviously devoted my entire being into my kids since they've been born. They are my "stay-at-home purpose". But what about the bigger picture? In what ways am I impacting the other people around me? How am I making a difference? I often felt useless since I was home all day, living in a beautiful home, living out the American Dream. Maybe I should be in some foreign mission field somewhere offering my time and resources. But it doesn't have to be that way for me. It isn't that way for me. So what can I do where I'm at?

This Sunday, our pastor gave a sermon about "seeing the invisible man". It really spoke to me because I always find myself drawn to helping those in need around me. Whether it be in a tangible way like donating clothes to someone who could use it, or in a more emotional way, like listening and being there for someone who is hurting.

In the past couple of years, I have learned right before my eyes, that life is so fragile. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away" James 4:14. So many people are chasing after the "vapor of life" that they get so lost in their suffering. How can I be the one to recognize them? How can I be the one to reach out and "release the best of who I am to enrich others?" "How can I become poor so others might become rich?" "Who will I cry for?"

I truly believe that what I have and own is really not truly my own. It could be gone in an instant. Adele Ahlberd Calhoun stated "If you just consume, you die." Think about that. I am often "blinded by the good life." It's so easy to get caught up in my privilege that I lose sight of what is really important. For me, what's important is other people. And my response to that defines my faith.