One Hour

I had to share this. Please be advised this all happened in an hour window. At 6:30 tonight, I got on a conference call. Still cleaning up from dinner, I had it on speaker phone and and mute. As I was listening and cleaning up, I heard Alexa yell, "mommy we need some help in here!" Never a good situation. I ran into the bathroom to find her sitting on the potty, with Zachary splashing about in bare feet to what appeared to be a rather large spill all over the floor. "What happened?" I exclaim. "I had to go so bad and I missed the potty." I quickly realized Zachary was dancing in pee, and then he proceeded out the bathroom through the living room showing me his wet footprints. Racing to grab him up off the floor, I sat him down and scrubbed his feet with soap and water. Meanwhile, Alexa is still sitting on the potty, trapped by the sea of pee, while the conference call is still continuing on the counter where I left the phone. I then grabbed a roll of paper towels and made a spot I could step into to extract Alexa from the bathroom. I got her settled and proceeded to mop up and disinfect the bathroom. Meanwhile, the call had ended, so I missed it.

Next, the kids went upstairs per my request because I was on my way up to get them ready for bed. I finished cleaning up downstairs and on my way upstairs, I noticed a strange car pulling into the driveway. I peeked out the window to see who it was. It appeared to be 2 men, and I noticed the driver swigging down something in a silver can. Hoping it was diet Coke, but fearing it was beer, I began to think the worst. "They've come to rob us and kill us." They came to the door, and I opened it slowly. "Is this house number 79?" They ask. I realize now it is a father and his teenage son. "No, we are 81", I respond, relieved they are not here to rob and kill me, but to rob and kill my brother who lives next door at 79. So they head off next door. Thankful my brother has a long driveway, I race to the phone to warn them of the drunk killers, and have plenty of time before they make it to their front door.

As the strange men make their way to my brother's house, I finally make it upstairs to get the kids to bed. Upon landing at the top of the stairs, I hear Alexa proudly state, "Mommy, we got the washcloths all wet and ready for you!" Uh oh. I find Alexa standing at the sink with puddles all over the counter and 2 washcloths drowning in water, with a tipped over baby wash bottle next to it. And I find Zachary sitting on the floor with an empty baby shampoo bottle and shampoo all over the floor. He is saying "look at me mommy" as he uses a dry washcloth to wash his dry hair that is now white with suds. Into the bath they go before they nearly break their necks on the slippery surface. While they are bathing, I wash the floor with the baby shampoo.

The phone rings and it is my sister in law to tell me they are ok and the killers were actually looking for a #79 in the next town over that was selling a car on Craigslist.

Well, the kids got cleaned up and dressed and into bed, and I learned a few things tonight. 1.) Don't bother washing the floor, just wait for something to spill and then you have to clean it. 2.) I have to buy some more baby shampoo tomorrow. 3.) I got more done in that one hour than I had all day. 4.) Being a mom is the hardest job in the world, but at least now my hands smell really good from cleaning up all that shampoo.